Breeched Wales Bloviating in the Hot Sun

Location: Long Island, New York, United States

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Who's the Genetic Freak? Him or Her?

Foreign Dispatches has an item on Tom Cruise speculating that he might be a genetic freak because of his crooked teeth.

In the article the author theorizes that Kidman cannot get pregnant because of Cruises condition then gets into a discussion pondering if beauty is truly a marker of genetic fitness.

What does it say about beauty as a marker of reproductive potential that hardly anyone seems to have noticed Cruise's potentially sterility-denoting genetic anomaly until now? When you also take into account that some of the most strikingly beautiful women are actually genetically male, you have to wonder how much stock to put into the claim that looks tell you anything about reproductive fitness. It isn't exactly as if the typical mother of 10 is or ever was a potential Hollywood starlet either.

I am sad to admit that I noticed his malpositioned incisors and his crooked nose a long time ago. I was just too polite to mention it. I had just assumed he didn't have enough money for an orthodontist and a rhinoplasty, what with belonging to a cult and all. ;)

I guess the author didn't read the 'genetically male' article, since it theorizes that Kidman is the guilty party. You know beatiful woman, no children, ergo genetic freak. Which for some reason I find a hilarious joke on the author at Foreign Dispatches.

Let's be honest, I find it more plausible that Cruise has bad teeth because he is the illegitmate child of Austin Powers. Furthermore, that Kidman is not barren but is was on the pill. She refused to get pregnant with Cruise because he is a freak not of the genetic but religious kind. I know, I know, there are holes in my theory like the kids being adopted, but I didn't think we were holding the bar up that high.