Constitution Taken Off of Life Support Today

With todays Supreme Court Ruling in the Kelo case the Constitution was officially taken off of life support.

The Constitution originally suffered brain damage in a accident related to the commerce clause, and was declared brain dead after drug seizure rulings. Life support started a short time ago when the lungs stopped of their own accord after a ruling on medical marijuana.

The constitution's pulse stopped with the removal of the heart, private property rights, today June 23, 2005.

It was determined that the body would generate more revenues for the government as body parts, instead of as a restrain on government. No other value was discerned as no treasure map was to be found on the reverse side.

Afterwards Justices Stevens, Kennedy, Souter, Ginsburg, and Breyer sat down to a nice liver dinner including fava beans and a nice chianti. They shared the dinner with local politicians and developers having political connections.

No autopsy is planned and the hollow body is scheduled to be embalmed and put on a display in the tradition of Lenin. When asked about their actions, the attending doctors at the Supreme Court replied, "It was put in this state in order to maintain it as a 'living document'".